Light Bulb Alley

Light Bulb Alley
Interview by Christ Our Savior Duda
Sugarbuzz-In Hell

Bo Diddley’s bloated rotting corpse is gonna chop your motherfuckin’ head off with that square guitar. He will dice and slice it like some slick Iron Chef wanting to win and eat the heart of Gordon Ramsey. A nice slice of disease oozing from a popped blister on the labia of rock and roll. Seedy underbelly stabbing at your eyes like Jack the Rippers surgical knives. Leaving you for the crows, vultures and worms. Alas, I have been moved to panegyrize and thus must stick to the details of the vibrations rattling your rotting bones. I have been driven to dipsomania and lust the dirty, meanderings of foreign travelers and one French Canadian. Smear Poutine on my thighs and let the festivities begin..Ladies I give you curds and gravy on two dangling participles ready to thrust them into your ever so ready to yap trap. Mmmmm we will dine like Kings by Lightbulbs and fall further into our addiction problems and distaste for the self help groups we never attend..

How was the band name chosen?

Allister: every person’s body temperature is the same as 1 light bulb, this is true, I read that somewhere.

I hear many influences in your music spanning from the 50’s through the present time. Who is influential to you musically?

Allister: Really anything that inspires me regardless of era, genre, or categorization. Yellowknife is isolated, good for fishing but isolated, people were listening to whatever the newest top 40 craze was; there wasn’t really any vinyl or underground stuff coming in. But I did have my dad’s record collection, like Elvis, Little Richard, the Rolling Stones, I was poisoned for life! Anything raw is good. Country, Blues, Punk The Electric Prunes, roommates record collections, Ukrainian Polka, fuck it songs with mojo and swagger.

Ockert: I have no influences whatsoever

Karlo: Sharon, Lois, and Bram, and 13th Floor Elevators, and The Velvet Underground. I like the Stooges, Chuck Berry, and Celine Dion she is my role model

How did you come to be on Ricochet Sound records?

Karlo: Raye Biffon from Ricochet Sound came to one of our shows even bought us a bunch of beer he is an awesome dude, he knows a lot about Garage music and it was completely flattering to know that the same label as the Gruesomes was interested in us. It was like the movies!

What is your drink of choice?

Allister: Buffalo Trace Straight Bourbon

Ockert: Brandy and Coke

Karlo: Milk and Scotch half of that is true.

Who gets the most groupies in the group? Who seems to attract the overweight pimple laden crack whores?

Karlo: There was that girl that stole our drinks does that count?

Allister: I still think she was in to you.

What previous bands did the band play in?

Allister: I played guitar in a few bands one called “ Flint” we got kicked out of the High School Talent show, they were really serious about this event, so after being given the boot we stormed the stage in our underwear uninvited moshed around for a bit while another band played.

Ockert: In South Africa I played in Die Brixton Moorden Hoof Orkes.

Karlo: I played in mainly jam bands.

Allister: Karlo is half hippie

 Are you influenced by Montreal’s past history ie-Asexuals, Nils, 222’s, The Haunted, The Gruesomes?

Ockert: I saw the ASexuals live they burnt it up!

Allister: I am influenced by The Haunted and The Gruesomes, I haven’t heard of Nils the other bands are cool!

Karlo: The Gruesomes

Was Dead Moon ever on your radar or their lo-fi mono ethics?

Allister: Dead Moon is awesome, I only recently heard them, I dig “Graveyard”… It’s funny sometimes people who come out to our shows and corner us with questions about great bands that we have never heard of, saying we sound like this, or should check out that, it’s really cool I consider those people our research department.

Do you have any tales on the road of sin, drug induced comas, alcoholism and general frontal nudity?

Karlo: Allister likes to climb things like a shed roof when he’s drunk. Ockert surprises us with countless rounds of tequila it can get messy.

Allister: I try and lead a clean healthy lifestyle, and you should too, DR. Phil is my hero a damn good Christian. But, Watch out for Karlo when he is wearing his bandanna be careful not to look him in the eyes. 

Should Quebec become their own country?

Allister: sorry! We do not do god, politics or the Vicars daughter…. well maybe the Vicars daughter

The band seems to be everywhere on the internet i.e.: Twitter, Myspace, and Has this helped the band in any fashion or is the market over saturated? ……….

 Ockert: I’m not sure I hope so.

Allister: we have met cool bands and people through the Internet like What Wave Dave. Ricochet Sound found us on Myspace, but I’d rather be spending the day playing music than on the computer.

How does Light Bulb Alley stand ahead of the competition?

Allister: We aren’t too competitive unless you fuck with us then we will put a dead fish in your acoustic guitar and a fire cracker on your drum stand

Are there any bands you would love to share a stage with?

Allister:     Obviously the notorious Gruesomes I haven’t seen them live yet but I have heard them through a wall in a Lobby at Theater Plaza in Montreal a few years back for the Wooly Weekend. I didn’t have the cash to get in….. Also The Jim Jones Revue saw them live after a band thee Martian Boyfriends from Belgium said our song sounds like them… they are pure locomotive tear out the kitchen sink type of rock n roll,

Karlo: The Gerry Alvarez Odyssey.

Are there plans to tour this current release?

Allister: We’ve been touring all summer we always have shows in Montreal we also plan to play at the sled island festival in Calgary, which might lend to some shows in the Midwest US like Milwaukee, Chicago… we even have a wedding we are invited to play at next summer. Let’s just hope there is an open bar.

Are there any current Montreal bands that deserve a nod (I didn’t say prone to nodding)?

Allister: Demons Claws, Hell Shovel, Miss Fortune, Ol’ Savannah, Primitive Hands, The Broken Jugs, Bad Uncle, Skip Jensen, Photoroman,Le-Chelsea-Beat, Bloodshot Bill, Red Mass and our label mates The Gruesomes, Fuad and the Feztones, The Gerry Alvarez Odyssey.

Karlo: Eddie Bake and the Honky Tonk Heart Breakers, I liked The Cockroaches when they were around. 

Why play shows in boxers? Wouldn’t thongs be more appealing to nubile garage fans?

Allister: that was our laundry day

When does the band plan to release….?? Okay now that you pondered that …when does the band plan to release its next cd?

Allister: We plan to record in Jan and Feb. for a new LP that will be released on Ricochet Sound.

Is your gear/instruments important to you as a band and if not why?

Allister: I think it is always talent not the equipment, if you have soul you can possess the cheapest pawn shop guitar. Sound is important though I play a Mexican Strat with a Les Paul pickup through a fender 1968 Princeton.

Ockert: Whatever does the job.

Karlo: I play a shitty Peavey bass amp so I guess it’s not important to me.

Do you all have day jobs?

Allister: yeah we all have daily slave jobs to pay the rent LOL

Where in Montreal is the best place to get Poutine?

 Karlo: The Poutine Palace (Banquise) its 24 hours on Rachel. And Just about every street corner there is some of the finest poutine, you can get poutine with pineapple bacon and peas, whatever you want on it. I eat that for breakfast, it’s a delicacy.

How did you come to Montreal from Yellowknife and how did Ockert end up here from South Africa. I hope Karlo gave you a good Montreal hazing upon both your arrival!

Ockert: I was thinking of taking a boat, but it takes too long, so the Aeroplane it was.

Allister: I drove from Yellowknife to Montreal to be a musician, living the Dream

 Karlo: I was the head of the welcoming committee at the gates of Montreal I greeted them with a smile on my face and a firm handshake. (Ha ha a true Canadian…shy’s away from conflict and is right up there with Sweden!-CD)