The Germs

The Key Club

Hollywood, CA

Dec. 3, 2005

By Lucky (SugarBuzz Hollywood)

Photos By Lucky

SugarBuzz Magazine
I risked life and limb to bring this review to you fuckers. I barely made it out alive. I got slammed, kidney punched, spit on, stepped on, and kicked in the head. It was fucking great!” So let’s get to it.

About a week prior to the show I found out that The Germs were playing at The Key Club. I had heard fragments of stories concerning Germs reunion shows. But information was limited at best. Third hand stories of the band playing here and there, but no one could give me much. All I could gather was that is was three original members with an actor doing Darby.

Then the word of The Germs biopic, “What We Do Is Secret”, that is still in postproduction hit the streets. Shane West was to portray Darcy Crash and original Germs: Lorna Doom, Pat Smear and Don Bolles were consultants for the film. Things apparently went well. And then a light bulb went off. Let’s do some shows.

I had reservations about this whole thing. First off December 3 would be the 25-year anniversary of the now famous Germs reunion show at my old hangout The Starwood. That was the last show ever for The Germs as just a few days later Darby took the lethal injection. Also, would this show just fuck up fond memories I have of the old days. Would it be an abomination? What would Darby think about all this? Well the best way to find out was to just bloody go. So I did.

But on the way there I took a bit of a detour. Down to memory lane. Down to Santa Monica Blvd. Down to the corner where The Starwood once stood. The memories are still so fucking fresh, memories of Quaaludes, fights, the disco room, the band room, the fireplace room, the little room between the fireplace room and the band room, the queens, the queers, the hustlers, the punks, the rockers, the ever-present bottle of Bacardi, my old buddies PJ and Sean, and getting my ass kicked by Eddie Nash’s infamous body guard. I saw so many great shows there that have now become legendary. It’s funny cause at the time the importance of those shows didn’t even cross my mind. I was just into getting wasted, getting laid, and rocking out. Five to six nights a week, I called The Starwood my home. The day they tore it down I wept.
The Day They Tore It Down I Wept......
Ok that was fun, now it was time to head up to Sunset and see what was in store for the rest of the night.

After ditching my car, I happened to run into my buddy Rodney Bingenheimer around 11ish and he confirmed the midnight start time. So I wasn’t in any hurry. I went and hung out a bit at The Bow. Rodney went straight to The Key Club. I knew an introduction had to be in the works.

About 11:50 I sashayed into The Key Club to find the place packed to the hilts. The band playing prior to The Germs was just finishing up. Hey was that Mike Watt? Shit I think I missed something cool. Oh well. Here come The Germs.

The crowd in front thinned just enough so I could snake my way right up to the front of the stage. Cool, this seems like a good safe spot. HAHA! Prepare for battle.
After what seemed like an eternity of check check, Rodney Bingenheimer walked out on stage. I called that right. Rodney introduced himself, as if anyone didn’t know, and informed the crowd that tonight was indeed the 25 year anniversary of the Starwood show. What was really cool was that the band was going to play the exact set list that they played that night in 1980. Awesome. I was really starting to get excited and was swept into the knowledge that this WAS a historic show. Then they walked out.

There they fucking were, after all these years, Pat Smear sporting a cowboy hat, Lorna Doom looking totally hot, and Don Bolles looking crazy as ever. But no Darby, err, I mean Shane. Then we heard some commotion coming from behind the drum riser. In full on Darby mode, Shane came out with damage on the agenda.

The Germs ripped into “Circle One” and all hell broke loose. It

felt like a tidal wave of slam up against my back. I was in trouble. But damn it, I am an old hand at holding my space and no one was getting in my way. “I’m Darby Crash, a social blast” Shane puked out. “Snap, crackle pop” indeed. It was happening to my spine.

“Manimal” kept the hellions in all of us a flare. Shane was doing all the Darby moves, he has got them down. And he sounds a lot like him at times too, although Darby’s guttural sneer is hard to reproduce.

My all time favorite Germs song was next. “Caught In My Eye” had everyone around me hollering along. I surprised to see how many of you fuckers actually know the lyrics to Germs songs. Killer. Yeah, I was hollering along too. About this time I got a blow that almost took me out. I held strong.

I think the person that was amazed the most by the turmoil and excitement being generated was Lorna. She had a perpetual smile on her face like she just couldn’t believe what she was seeing. The mosh pit was in full twirl and spiked arm bands were flaying wildly.

“Lion’s Share” was 2 minutes plus of action packed mayhem. About this time Shane soaked me with what smelled like bourbon or something from a Coke bottle. Great, try explaining that one at the sobriety check point.

Pat took center stage and played the famous opening guitar riffs of “Roundabout” from Yes. But as any Germs fan knows, they are also the opening riffs for “ No God”. Pure punk heaven ensues.

Something started to well up inside me and I started to flash back to the reckless hoodlum I once was. There was a certain youngster to my left that kept punking in my direction. I was getting pissed. It was really excessive. The Tubes song “I Was A Punk Before You Were A Punk” came to mind. “You want some action, I’ll put your ass in traction!” I was ready to rumble. I started to turn and prepared to body slam this youngling all the way to Gil Turners. Good thing I looked first. It was a girl. She saw damage in my eye. She got this sweet little look on her face like please don’t kill me. I smiled and so did she, and then we proceeded to punk into other people together.

The Germ hits kept on coming. We had the pleasure of hearing “Our Way”, “Strange Notes” and “What We Do Is Secret”. That got the crowd going even more.

Shane kept giving us the Darby Crash simulation. He crawled on the floor, moaned and groaned, lit his set list on fire after having to get a replacement lighter as his seemed to be out of fluid and constantly sticking his microphone into the faces of hard core fans so they could sing a line or two.
Another classic came soaring at us in the form of “Ritchie Dagger’s Crime”. The oh wo wo’s were great. This one guy who kept telling everyone before the show that his name was Ritchie Dagger was especially riled up for this song. As if the band was telling his tale to the masses. No, I seriously doubt he was the inspiration for Darby’s classic.

“Land Of Treason” sizzled by at breakneck speed, and another favorite of mine, “My Tunnel” was candy for sore ears. Shit I haven’t heard that one in so long. “I’m crawling through my tunnel”!! Oh Yeah!!!

For you guitar buffs, Pat was playing his original Hagstrom guitars. At the introduction to one song, his amp power went out. Pat laughed and dropped his guitar on the ground. Hey easy there partner. “That was my big moment!” Pat joked. The amp was up and running in a matter of seconds.

“Media Blitz”, “Communist Eyes” and “The Other Newest One” came bombarding our way. “Your not the first, you’re not the last. Another day, another crash” was echoed by the ruffians in the crowd like a scared mantra of punkdom.

Shane was heckling the people in the balcony in true Darby form. “Get down here, these people in the front are having the time of their lives.” No shit!!! He also was yielding a dangerous jar of peanut butter and I knew the bag of sugar was not far behind.

Chaos was in full force as brazen fans stage dove and rushed the stage to grab a hold of their favorite Germ. One fucker wearing jackboots flew off the stage and inserted boot into skull. My skull! Good times!
“Let’s Pretend,” buzzed overhead. Then the first single by The Germs ever released, “Forming” was played in all its glory. Hey what happened to the reverb!! No punk collection is complete without this historic 7” on What Records. It has been hailed as either the worst or best single of all time. A classic.

Things were wrapping up. We heard “Lexicon Devil” and “Shut Down” and that was all she wrote. I was waiting for Shane to repeat Darby’s famous line about everybody meeting at Oki Dogs. Well he said it, but Fatburger replaced Oki Dogs. Just another sore reminder of a historic site lost. (Someday I will tell you guys about my experiences of excess at Oki Dogs.)
I didn’t want to leave as I was looking for a set list, but the security guys were encouraging us to get the hell out of there. They had one big fucking mess. Then I saw some kid holding on to a piece of paper like it was gold. “Hey is that a set list?” I inquired. “No!” was his answer. Liar. “Come on man, I just want to take a picture of it.” “Ok.” The set list was a Xerox copy of the famous list used at The Starwood all those years ago. Word on the streets is that this set list was written and drawn by none other than Dinah Cancer. I must contact her to confirm this.

Achy and weary I headed home. I had peanut butter all over the legs of my pants and sugar in my hair. I was a beat up mess. I can’t wait till the next time.
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