Ladies and Gentlemen…The Fabulous Stains
The Don’t Knock The Rock Film Festival
The Silent Movie Theater
Hollywood, California
September 7, 2008
By Victoria Joyce
(SugarBuzz Hollywood)
SugarBuzz Magazine
“I can’t believe I’ve never seen this film!” That was the what we heard and what we said when the house lights went up at the last evening of 2008’s Don’t Knock the Rock Film Festival. “Ladies and Gentlemen…The Fabulous Stains,” hasn’t been seen in over twenty years. It is one of the best rock movies ever made, hands down, no contest.
You heard it here first in our pre-festival interview with curator, Allison Anders (here & here). This seven year-old fest featured some amazing musical film & documentary treasures, but tonight was the jewel in the crown, fer shure. Festival host Michael Des Barres was positively giddy doing the intro’s and the thank you’s from the dimly lit stage. They did the trivia question-gift bag thing in front of a false start of the movie. Ooops.
“What are they doing?” Allison jammed up the aisle to the projection booth just in time. Everyone had the giggles in the totally packed and intimate theater that usually hosts the old silent gems. Alison’s final touch was whisper to Des Barres dedicating the final evening to a young filmmaker, Sarah Jacobs who recently passed on. Sweet.
Directed by legendary producer Lou Adler in 1981 “Ladies and Gentlemen..” is an undiscovered gem that has a cast from heaven. Diane Lane, who attended the screening, was but a mere babe when this was made. So was Laura Dern. But that’s just the start.
It’s your basic rags to riches, all-girl rock group from nowheresville as overnight sensation story. Diane plays Corinne Burns who changes her name to Third Degree Burns and starts a band with her sister and cousin. She goes to a rock show in her little tank town and falls in love with the lead singer of the opening band, The Looters.
Now here’s the good part. No, here’s the great part, the Looters are Steve Jones and Paul Cook of the Sex Pistols, Paul Simonon of the Clash on bass and a very young and skinny Roy Winstone in the Johnny Rotten role as the lead singer. Yeah, the Pistols and the Clash make one hell of a jam band. They do two songs in the film. OMG.
The Stains join the Looters on a tour opening for The Metal Corpses, whose lead singer is played by Fee Waybill of the Tubes. Wearing a flowing, black Afro wig and Kiss make up, Fee steals the picture. Another Tuber, Vince Welnick, also in the film, plays the gay junkie keyboard player without any lines who OD’s backstage. White punks on dope.
Life and love on the road sees The Stains get big fast and fall even faster. The hairstyles and make up are killer. Their lookalike fans call themselves Skunks because of the copycat black and blonde Mohawks. Did I mention the bright red Lee Press-On nails?
The whole thing ends with an MTV vintage video parody that is priceless. This film was so cutting edge in it’s day it became dated in a matter of months. Now it stands as a charming and fascinating time capsule. Rhino is releasing “The Stains” on DVD on September 16th. Mark your calendars.