By Lucky (SugarBuzz Hollywood Reporter)

SugarBuzz Magazine

1) What's your name, what instrument do you play, and where are you from?

Chach: You're going to pay. And when you're done payin', you're going to pay some more. This is Mimi, by the way. I'm from John Kreese, CA. I play the Cobra Kai.

2) What is your earliest rock and roll memory?

Chach: As a child, my parents had me brainwashed into thinking that my lifelong destiny was to be a pair of Paul Stanley's teal bikini briefs, ( they figured that this might be a good direction to have me headed, as I was obsessed with John Oates's moustache while I was still in the crib. ) There was a serious monkeywrench thrown into the operation, when, a few years later, I began to get uncontrollable chub every time a Sandy Duncan 'Wheat Thins' commercial would appear on TV.

3) Boxers or briefs?

Chach: Commando, baby. Our soldiers are fightin' in Iraq right now so my cash and prizes can have the freedom to flap around as they please.

4) Just who are those hot women on the cover of "To Destroy Your Boyfriend's Confidence"?

Chach: We picked 'em up on the corner of Santa Monica and Gower the night before shooting the video. Talk about killin' two birds with one stone....

5) "From The Throne" are we talking a regal seat or a toilet?

Chach: Is there a difference?

6) What equipment are you using, or misusing on stage and in the studio?

Chach: We're glad you asked this, because we picked up a few new endorsements the other day that we'd like to plug. Chach is now officially using 'Beast Penis' amplification, 'Flying Wang' guitars, 'Hymens Are Forever' drums, and 'Tender is the Night' Penis Pumps.

7) Did you really see mommy kissing Santa Claus last night?

Chach: Who's the perv who came up with that one. Isn't it really lame when someone gets bent out of shape when you make fun of their mom? What the hell's that all about?

8) If you had to give up forever one thing in your life what would it be?

Chach: Sleep. We in Chach are currently partaking in a government sponsored 'Hookers, Hallucinogenic, and Halitosis' marathon, and there just doesn't seem to be enough hours in the day.

9) In your mind, what was the best and worst gig you have ever played and why?

Chach: I think I can speak for the rest of the gang when I say that, no gig will ever beat being a child, getting out of the tub, and playing genital guitar while you're being dryed off by your parents. Worst gig? We'll leave those to most of the bands you hear on the radio. We're tryin' to steer clear of those.

10) What is currently in your CD player?

Chach: I ate my CD player. I was going to ask, for question #18, if I could have yours.

11) What are your New Year's resolutions?

Chach: New Years Eve, 2004, we made a pact that we were going to do whatever it took to make it a federal mandate to have a high heel dug into your testes before starting your day. This mandate didn't get too far outside of Chach camp, although quite effective inside and we're now making a resolution for '05 to steal all the ice from the surrounding area 7-11's.

12) Tell us why we should go see a Chach show.

Chach: Christ, why wouldn't you go to a Chach show.

13) What do you want Santa to bring you this year?

Chach: Duh. Ice. With a side of the dreamiest Afghani known to man, maybe.

14) Is there a new CD or Video in the works?

Chach: Believe you me, mister, there's all sorts of goodies in the works. Believe it!!!!! We're not stopping until we're the only band alive, and the only products being manufactured, period, are Chach products. Gene Simmons won't know what hit him.

15) What's your favorite beverage?

Chach: There's this chick in Hawthorne who secretes this diet grape beverage from her buttocks. Let's go with that.

Chach: 'Cuz we're in charge now. I think people are seduced by absolute power, and there is no power more absolute than Chach. Plus, if you watch the video, you realize that Dawn's cleavage is mesmerizing and Jimi's beard is succulent. That's got something to do with it, I'm sure.

Subliminal messages?

Chach: No, we'll leave those to Scatman Carruthers in 'The Shining'. Word is he ad-libbed those parts.

17) Any last words for you fans?

Chach: No. When I think I'm about to be hit by a truck, I'll let 'em know.

http://www.chachme.com/

Return To SugarBuzz Sanity